How To Overcome Limitations

4 Dysfunctions graphic

 

 

Greetings friends!

Now that you know the Critical Factors for Success & Happiness it’s vital that you learn how to apply them–and remember from our last chat: we must start with how to Overcome Limitations.

Limitation is defined by Merriam-Webster as “the act of controlling the size or extent of something …(such as a lack of ability or strength)…”–and again, these pesky “acts” are what causes us to sit back and be miserable instead of jump forward into action and “make it happen” for ourselves. My limitations have changed over time. When I was younger, I believed that I was too fat to get a girlfriend, I needed to struggle to earn something–I was a grinder, and that no one listened to me. All these “acts of Doug” kept me unhappy and away from what I truly wanted.

Everyone has the right to be happy and fulfilled instead of frustrated and in pain. The secret to being happy requires us to address 4 commonly missed structures in our lives that are often extremely dysfunctional…

I know what you’re thinking. You expect another copied discussion about career, relationships, family, and perhaps spirituality…right? Wrong! Those categories are merely results of the structures we’ve built, not secrets to happy living. The 4 foundational structures you require and must make functional are:

1. Build Your Needs Blueprint. We all have 6 human needs that influence our choices and behavior. They are the need for Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth, and Contribution. Learn how these needs of the self and needs of the spirit operate in your life and you will see how and why you limit yourself. More importantly you will see how to reorganize them in order to have a completely different day-to-day experience in the world.

2. Determine Your Personal Landmine Map. Being unhappy is a feeling—it’s an emotional state that is manufactured by a series of triggers and emotional patterns that are in you. I call them landmines. Learn what your landmines are and then you can easily step around them instead of blowing yourself up as you walk through your day. (By the way: emotions are chosen (consciously or unconsciously) and can be controlled. If you believe that your emotions happen randomly, this is your first limitation and so “last century thinking!”).

3. Fill Your Desire Gap. We all have things that we have and things that we want. The space in the middle is what I call the Desire Gap. Like if you are unhappy but you want happiness…Boom: desire gap! Or if you want peace but are stressed out all the time…Boom: desire gap! Or if you want a loving family but everyone backstabs each other…Boom: you get it by now! Fill this gap by changing a few rules in your life and see how fresh, happy possibilities flow into your day.

4. Control Your Habit Center. More than once in a while our bad habits are ways for us to escape the fact that our Needs Blueprint is messy, we step on Landmines all the time, and our Desire Gap is so big we can’t even imagine how to fill it…so, we escape through some kind of bad habit (or vice). In the past I’ve used binge eating, partying, negative self-talk, and isolation. So, instead of running away like a frightened coward when our first 3 structures are in disarray, especially while we’re working to improve them, we must Control our Habit Center. Do this to be a force of nature instead of a reactor of habit.

All of us can fix these 4 essential base structures in our lives. It took me almost 15-years to accomplish by doing the only thing I knew how to do—I soul searched, which must also be the slowest and most painful way to overcome limitations! Now who gets excited about that process? Not many of us, I’m certain. However, I hope you are paying attention to this discussion my friends. These funky looking strategies are what I learned and was taught during my search. They are the 4 golden steps that will allow you to collapse time; this is how to make the key changes you need to make right now—not after you’ve taken 15 years to contemplate the B.S. that’s filled your life.

We’ll break these 4 structures apart over the next few posts and discuss the specific tools you need to Go Direct right now and get the happiness that’s waiting for you…stay tuned, my friends!

 

Do you know someone who could use this info? Forward it to them!
Want more cool ideas personally delivered to you? Sign up for it!
Have a question or need clarity? Email me at doug[at]dougapedersen.com

Leave a Reply





*