Limitations: Mr. Have Versus Joe Schmoe



Do you believe that what one man can do, another can do as well? I sure hope so because we’ve all done it. Without explaining human growth, learning, and development just trust me here. We’ve all modeled our behavior after someone—from infant, to toddler, to kid, etc.—and I still do it! That’s how we learned to be people, including Mr. Have and Joe Schmoe.

Last time we talked about Critical Factors for Success and Happiness. We also looked at the triangular model I teach that helps seekers of Success & Happiness get there—which calls for us to Overcome Limitations, Raise Standards, and Follow Heart. Now let’s take this model for a test drive and see how it works with Mr. Have’s problematic, wealthy life. Then let’s briefly compare and see how it applies to Joe Schmoe’s problematic, scarcity life.

The APA article showed that a certain type of Mr. Have often worries about his material wealth. Like the wealthy Dad that worries about raising snotty kids with no work ethic. Or the rich couple who’s uncertain about their friendships—wondering if the people around them are genuine or just after their money, power, and access. Believe it: these situations are Limitations—and the worries and uncertainties only become true (facts) when Mr. Have behaves in a way that gives action (energy) to them. As long as they linger in Mr. Have’s being these Limitations act as subtle, but major, roadblocks to his true happiness. How can you be truly happy when you’re worried all the time? Simple: you can’t!

Once Mr. Have overcomes these pesky Limitations he has the opportunity to raise his standards. He can choose to refuse the worries and demand a better outcome within each of his problem areas. Say for instance with his kids, his son. Mr. Have’s old standard accepted “sitting back” and worrying about raising a snotty kid with no work ethic. Once he obliterates that false truth, he now has the ability to focus on raising a good human being instead of a sh*thead. He doesn’t accept the inaction and low standard (the worry) of himself or of his family. Instead, his new standard becomes the guiding principal (and the kick in the ass) that gets Mr. Have to leap into action like Superman and invest in a loving, day-to-day relationship with his boy.

Once the cobwebs of limitation and low standards are cleared, Mr. Have can really expand his joy by letting his heart lead the way. Passion is stored in the heart. The wants and desires of our being are stored in the heart. The ability to serve and give to others, including his son, is stored in the heart. If Mr. Have adds this super-charged component he now becomes a force of nature, happy, instead of a tool of fear.

How about Joe Schmoe? He’s kinda happy but can’t rub two nickels together. Well, the model works the same way for him. In a nutshell, the typical Joe Schmoe believes in scarcity. Deep down he worries that there isn’t enough (of whatever) to go around. Or he believes that he’s meant for less. Or he’s worried because all the Mr. Have’s are always “sticking it to him.” (Without ranting about abundance, please call me if you believe in scarcity. I’ll show you otherwise in 5 minutes or less.) So, I ask again: how can you be happy if you worry all the time? Simple: you can’t!

Like Mr. Have, these pesky Limitations are keeping Joe Schmoe down—way down! Once Joe Schmoe sees that there is enough, and that he is enough, he can raise his standards for a better life (whatever that is to him: more money, better relationships, etc.). Once the cobwebs are cleared he can let his heart (his passions) lead the way and he can grow anything in a positive and fulfilling (happy) direction. Joe Schmoe now has the capacity to be a force of nature, happy, instead of a tool of fear.

Does this make sense? If not, don’t be quiet—let me know! Next time we’ll dive into how we specifically Overcome Limitations and I’ll introduce the 4 components that must be tended to and the corresponding tools for each step. I call them the 4 Steps to Freedom—and conversely, the 4 Dysfunctions of Happiness. If you can muster all 4 functional areas you’re really on your way to constructing, what I call, the Hope Diamond. See you next time!

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